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Identity Grief

by St. Francis

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1.
2.
What For 03:57
what’s happening  what’s happening to me so much going on inside of me can't live my life anymore don't wanna live what for The voice is beckoning, all you do is ask To meet the face behind the mask I know you’ve been running for such a long time What do you see when you close your eyes The reason's there, behind your stare The reason's there in your stare Maybe we don’t know yet What it means to be Maybe there’s a light Too dim to be seen There’s a light at the door And yet you ask what for?
3.
Inside 04:56
i always try to find who i am inside i never ever know what’s wrong with my mind so someone someone please please tell me who i really really am  inside i could never ever ever remember  how i came to be  no one sees how i really feel there’s a part of me without a history  there’s a part of me i’ll never ever ever see it frightens me and scares me i don’t know how to feel i try to wake myself up to find out if this is real so someone someone please please tell me who i really really am  inside
4.
my chest is heavy but i know i’m okay everything’s so loud everyone’s yelling watch the news i get so tense it’s hard to breathe none of this makes any ense no one understands what i’m trying to say all i want is to be okay no one understands what i’m trying to say they never will because no one listens i’m trapped in fear don’t know what to do what makes me better is when i think of you  my body’s frozen cant say a word in a spiral a cry for help am i crazy or is this normal i don’t know anymore am i crazy or is this normal i don’t know anymore no one understands what i’m trying to say all i want is to be okay no one understands what i’m trying to say they never will because no one listens
5.
6.
Ever 03:22
say something, say what you want to say keep me waiting, just say it to my face you think this conversation is dead you think i forgot what you said so stop leaving me on the ledge  stop playing games with my head stop messing messing with my head you think i’d put this talk to bed say something, i can’t read your mind say something, but nothing full of lies i won’t give up there’s no reason why i won’t give up there’s no reason why so stop leaving me on the ledge  stop playing games with my head stop messing messing with my head you think i’d put this talk to bed i won't give up i won't stop ever i won't give up ever
7.
8.
Mistake 05:20
see the mirror see my eyes and when i do i see a bit of you i want you out out of my head you never knew me but i don’t want you dead saw your eyebrows mine’s the same i should’ve never looked it was a mistake 

about

These songs were first written during the heart of the COVID-19 pandemic last year, when certain aspects about my personal life started to take a big turn as things stemming from my childhood resurfaced - trying to figure out where I come from and who and what I'm supposed to be.

credits

released May 7, 2021

Songs and Production by Daniel Chavez Crook
Additional vocals on "What For" by Scarlett Perry
Additional vocals and synthesizers on "Mistake" by April Gerloff
Mixed and mastered by Chris King
Album artwork and design by Mario Luna

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St. Francis Los Angeles, California

FKA Dearly Departure

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